so many bagels so much lox so many sunday mornings grandma Goldie and pop-pop would come over and watch us eat brunch. they always said they just weren’t hungry. still every sunday that was the ritual…for all of my life grandma Goldie has been there lately sitting in her tennis whites on the blue recliner at the kosher living place on park heights and on saturday as her 80-year-old daughter stroked her forehead grandma moved with out a sound into the next world. she was 101.
she always made me feel tall. she was just about 5 feet tall and by the time i was 11 i was easily as tall as her. that was a big win for me and my sister, Cindy.
she was all about fashion -classy fashion and as Steve Grossman said she looked like she was ready for her ‘after tennis martini’ well he did not actually say ‘martini’ but she did wear white warm up suits most of her last decade. she fashioned her self after the great actors of her day and was quite the looker. she always wanted me to look my best and while through much of my life i thought she was putting me down. as i got older i realized she just wanted me to be proud and out about my own beauty though we had different ideas about what that was.
one incident that totally stands out for me was the TERRY INTERRYGATION- i had been dating Terry for just under 2 weeks and when we told GG that we were seeing each other romantically she had a barrage of question for Terry- we were sitting outside on the green iron garden furniture it as was june 1997. “how will you be able to tour and make good money when you are on the road with Sonia? How much money did you make? Will you do this instead of practicing law? What are your real intentions?” and on and on i was mortified and wanted to crawl under the table i was sure Terry would bolt. But in retrospect i think GG could see into the future. And she really was the only one ever in my life so unabashedly ‘old school’ that she took my relationships very seriously gay or straight it did not matter: equal grilling for Sonia’s would be inti-mates. and i am grateful. it made us step up. it made life more valuable hour by hour…no such thing as a wasted kiss.
A great walker she walked and walked. Goldie was all about Healthy Living. She taught me about yoga and exercise and good healthy food. She would make me the most delicious lentil soup or kashi and served me toasted 7 grain bread. searching out the grocery store for ‘the best stuff’. And she never scolded me for being a vegetarian.
Later when i was starting to sell my paintings she would always encourage me to ‘put a little something away Make sure you keep a savings account Leave it there Forget about it’. I am happy that for the past 10 years my paintings decorated 3 out of the 4 walls in her private bedroom.
I am so grateful to my friends Rochelle and Lea Ann for taking care of Goldie coming in to give her a manicure or personal trims and countless little tasks that Rochelle would dutifully perform week after week into year after year. and then more recently Nancy would go in my absence to see GG and give her a hug from me. And she would let me know how GG was feeling. looking, saying….
Grandma was intensely specific on how she wanted things done. she was honest to the point of pain and yet when i got a compliment that was like a loud sunny day. Towards the end of her life she did not speak very much, but she would squeeeze my hand and let me know that SHE knew i loved her. SO Grandma i will miss you i miss you already and i will take your smile, your perseverance, your respect for the finer things and unwavering focus on a healthy life with me and we all will having loved you.
that is basically the eulogy i gave at Sol Levenson’s of Baltimore yesterday january 19 a little past high noon. it was an over cask sky with just a smidgen of pale blue in far away and small amounts. but as i finished my goodbyes and Rabbi Liz sang a beautiful prayer- for one final moment Grandma Goldie opened up her eyes and greeted me in a huge smile; i know this because in just that moment there was a loud sunny sky. i could see the outline of my shadow on the green grass next to a muddy puddle of snow. then we squished our way back to the limousine. God Bless you GG.